Well, he was always full of surprises.  After my great family reunion I went through a series of emotional ups and downs…from bliss to the dark night of the soul…over and over.  Paul was a victim of these swings, listening far too patiently to what was all too often simple self-indulgence.  Mea culpa.  Paul tells a story

So, we went back home, Maya and me.  But, everything had changed.  Paul.  Paul is in my life.  And I felt a huge burden about Brion.  That lovely man, who, completely unaware, gave me Maya.  At this point in my story, my father has my address and telephone number, which he is ready to pass on to April’s adoptive parents.  I will wait, no longer anxiously.  I know she is well.  My life goes on.  Weekly Pilgrimmages

Yes, but not much later.  After the events of the early evening, I was both exhausted and exhilarated.  Even if I did not have to talk to them downstairs, I knew that I would not sleep for some time.  But, I did have to.  If for no other reason that I had to reassure them that although I had suffered hurt, there was no harm done.  Far from it.  It was catharsis.  So, I knew, even given the pain I suffered still, there was more to be done.  Homecominglater1

Here it is.  I return home.  Of course, it is never simply returning.  All is the same, and all is changed.  How very trite!  I write this one, because I am still a little shy about writing the complete Homecoming sequence.  Next time.  Homecoming

Things have happened.  But I must present them slowly.  In the order they happened, for once.  I must be honest, no matter how painful or how embarrassing it is.  This next one has its share of pain, among other things.The years slip by

Oh, boy.  Discipline!  I have always had trouble with it, in myself, and of course in raising Maya.   I thought I should rewrite this one for now, as I prepare some more earthshaking posts to come…ha ha ha.

Anyway…call me a sucker…but here it is   a lesson learned

After the events in Farewell, Brion, my life settled into a long haul of raising an infant while finishing high school, in a program funded by welfare.  My main relief from it all was fiddling…busking.  I found I thoroughly enjoyed it, and found that busking with an infant in tow was a guarantee of mucho dinero in my fiddle case!  When Maya became a toddler, her impromptu step-dancing while I played ramped up the contributions.  Frankly…I think she was hopping around much of the time out of impatience to get going, but, who knew that!

Even now, many years later, I still like going out with the fiddle every so often.  I am not a great player, but, I can be engaging…just smile a lot, and wear flowing skirts and belly shirts!

Anyway.  Maya became a release from my loneliness, and my despair at ever seeing April again.  A bit unfair to load her with that.  I hope I have fixed that part of it.  

Maya is bright, and engaging herself.   And, busking, she has learned to be an outrageous flirt with daddy-looking men.  They are total suckers for her!  It is kind of cute.   So, it is in a way due to her, that I ended up with another man in my life, for a time.  A good time, if not a long one.  And nothing since, until today.          Names

With this, I come to the end of the second phase of my ‘life without April’, the first phase being the story of my leaving home, and setting myself up…the second, my first real sexual relationship.  The third phase was my brief, tho very sweet relationship with Rick, and the final phase, and the longest and least dramatic, over all,  ends in the present…as yet unwritten.

This is, as my title suggests, my farewell to Brion.  I never knew his last name, by the way, how crazy is that?  but, he was very good to me.  There is a part of me that is embarrassed at how I eventually exploited him.  That did not have to happen.  But, I am glad that it did, it has brought beauty into my life.  I hope, someday, to find some way of letting him know what he created, albeit unknowingly, with me.    Farewell, Brion